Recently my sister told me she'd had to replace her ironing board cover, 'cos it was threadbare. 'Remember ironing boards?'

I detected a slight smirk in her tone. She knew mine just acted as a hook to hold up my vacuum hose.

I've never been an ironing expert. Expect I lack the practice. I reckon I iron about 4 times a year. I've only ever owned 2 irons.

My first one was a yellow Morphy Richards. It was heavy flat iron. Mam gave it to me when I went to art college. She tried. But what art student could seriously put a neat crease down the centre of her jeans and not expect ridicule! And besides, tops were all made of non-iron cheesecloth in my memory. That Morphy Richards flat iron was spinky-spanky for many years. Even after steam irons were on-trend!

When I got married, I realised this ironingophobia might have to change. But I only succombed to collar-and-cuffs. Always last thing on a Sunday night when the kids were in bed. And always with a G&T waiting as a reward. A friend had told me she did that. It seemed worth a try.

Then, one Sunday night, whilst watching a scary movie - and ironing - I distractedly replaced the iron on the board. Awkwardly. It fell to the ground in a shower of sparks. It was terminally defunct.

I was given a steam iron which I didn't get on with.

So, I relied on various tips from friends - like refolding clothes just off the line by methodically smoothing out the creases with the back of my hand; or putting tops on hangers straight away; or deliberately not buying garments that were 100% viscose, or 100% cotton, or anything that had the potential to look like a crazed nightmare when it came off the line. My knowledge of how to avoid ironing was on the Ray Mears scale of off-grid tips to avoid technology!

My bed sheets always looked like Princess Diana's wedding dress - creased to the high heavens. But that's poly-cotton for you! (I never had silk sheets.)

Don't get me wrong - I still iron if someone's staying over. Reluctantly. Pillow slips only. I've found that if you keep folk talking into the small hours, the lurks in the sheets will go unseen in the darkness!

Besides, I'm reminded that someone once said that nobody has on their gravestone: Her house was always spick and span, with cottons crisp and neatly ironed.

I rest my case. Let that be a lesson to all you madcap ironers out there. Be remembered for something more worthwhile!