My Nana told me that women were either cooks or bakers. It was nigh impossible to be proficient at both!
She was a good baker. She could easily handle basic fare: oatcakes, scones, pancakes and clootie dumpling.
But one of her sisters was a Baker. She had a flair for it, so she was left to it. After all, there was no sense in buying expensive ingredients for someone-less-able to waste them!
'Try something else, mullach,' Auntie Cheena would coax. But what to try? Madeira Cake, Victoria Sponge, Dundee Cake, Gingerbread, Parkins, or Iced Fairy Cakes? There were too many to sample. And I was a small child. I did not want to disappoint a proud Baker, who was waiting anxiously for approval - for everything!
Mam was an okay cook and an excellent Baker. But she kept to her mainstays: Gingerbread, Raspberry Buns, Rock Cakes, Butterfly Cakes, and Coconut Madeleines topped with that tempting-red glace cherry. It was always exciting when Mam reached for the dariole moulds!
Now, I think I'm quite an able Cook. I'm well into my chilli, herbs & spices. But my kids would qualify that by, no doubt, adding, 'if unadventurous'!
I admit to having a few things I'm not keen on: cheese, thick slices of tomato, horseradish, shellfish (all varieties), squid, octopus, sushi, salmon, veal, wine (red, white & rose), anchovies, tuna, consomme, any cold soup, chutney, pate, olives and double cream!
That aside, I rarely bake.
I used to bake the kids' birthday cakes when they were little. My son never complained when the chocolate rocket on its launching pad was leaning at a dangerously acute angle, or even when the cannon on the sponge tank could only fire at the ground. It still got eaten. Thing is, it probably steeled him on in later life, because now he is a fine Baker. Maybe, even as a small child, he was thinking, 'I can do better than that!'
I must add, for fear of reprisals, that both his sisters are fine Bakers too!
I think the baking bug maybe skipped a generation and bypassed me?
So, picture this: last weekend the notion of doing some baking randomly came into my head. I could surely give it a go? I had spare time. And I've watched countless episodes of Pioneer Woman on the Food Channel. Nothing too fancy, like.
I thought about Date & Apple Cake. But that sounded a tad ambitious, so I plumped for Date & Apple Scones. They sounded basic. I would have all the ingredients in my store cupboard. The recipe used cups instead of using scales so that made it easier. I began sifting the dry ingredients.
I was doing okay until - drat - I had to weigh the butter. Where were the scales again? And then I came to the 2 cups of Buttermilk bit. I didn't have any. I had to improvise with extra butter & milk. Then things started to get dodgy.
I decided to go off-recipe and soak the dates in rum. But when the recipe called for sprinkling the dates on top, my dates had become a soft spread 'cos of the rum. Then the grated apple made everything very wet. The dough refused to be rolled out on the lightly floured table. It was so sticky. So, I patted it into a rectangle and used some biscuit cutters to cut out the scones. It was all very messy!
I searched high and low for a baking sheet to no avail. Eventually I improvised by squeezing the scones into silicon muffin trays. They weren't looking happy!
After 15 mins in the oven, I still wasn't too impressed. So I improvised again (bad idea). I made a cream cheese icing to improve the look of them. This, when poured, ran all over the place and wouldn't set - even after 2 hours. I put them into freezer bags but the still-soft icing made them stick together like magnets!
It hadn't been a good morning's work. And the amount of washing-up was scary!
If only I'd picked up the 3for2 offer on Mr Kipling's cakes in the supermarket. I'm quite partial to a Country Slice, and quite averse to washing up.
Lesson learned? Leave baking to the Bakers!
